Chris Johns: I Married A Comedian and It Was Not The Kind Of Thing I Expected

Fox News’ first season with Adam Carolla was one of my favorite reality TV shows of all time. I mean, I watched it three times a week. I’ve actually put on episodes a few times and I can still recite most of the hilarious exchanges from my childhood.

Adam’s one of the funniest men in television, maybe the funniest in television. His brand of sarcasm is so good, you’ll forget for a second that he’s a full-blown comedian. Adam also has a way of raising the bar for nearly every guy out there, making people think twice before going on a date with him, because he’s a cool guy.

That was until the day I arrived at Adam’s house in Cazenovia, New York, about a 20-minute drive from my hometown of Buffalo.

I was taken aback by the fact that my house was so big! I thought I had the exact same taste in places when I was growing up, but Adam was like, nope, he was having his beloved porch replaced with a huge metallic dome. In my defense, I thought that was kind of cool.

The real surprise came a couple weeks later at dinner. Adam didn’t invite me to dinner, he invited his publicist.

Adam brought along the PR flack and an amazing friend. Everyone was wearing matching blue shirts and they were dancing all night. I had never seen so many colors in my life. It was the first time I realized that I wanted to be on the show as well. Since then, I’ve tried to pick up women at his shows.

Almost 20 years after our on-air altercation, Adam still tweets at me every week.

What do you do if you date a comedian? I’m sure some writers get super jealous, and I wouldn’t blame them. You go on dates, you meet people who look like comedians or what have you, but it doesn’t necessarily translate. I remember being on a date and I got a text asking me to dinner.

I showed up but it was so busy, I had no idea who was there. I then found out it was Adam and he still talks to me.

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