Dear Chat Daddy,
I have a lovely and active social calendar. I host soirees for 25 people or so. I try to dress as professionally as possible for these parties with a dash of bit of sexy. Is this enough? But at the same time I worry my friends might be judging me if they think I’m too “flirty.” I don’t know where to get support on this dilemma.
Thanks so much,
Good thing you have friends. I don’t see how I could guarantee how many people are looking at you or the length of your skirt. So, of course, I need you to consider what is good for your own self-esteem and image, and how you wear your clothes is a big part of that. Fashion is subjective and can be self-esteem-booster or it can be self-esteem-deflating. You may need to turn off the guilty pleasure, maybe pour yourself a glass of wine to keep you calm. Also consider this: Are you hiding anything. Do you have a dark secret? Share it with friends. Plus, if you feel good about yourself, then your wardrobe is less likely to be that measure of that confidence.
Fashion is a choice, and you are setting the tone. Your choices may be sending an accurate or false message, and it’s important to take a stand on what you feel is right. Using judgment in regards to your own clothing is a subtle form of self-hate. I see this a lot in young, impressionable women who are trying to fill an emotional void through their outward appearances. Eventually, that “outward impression” morphs into a carefully constructed image to last. There is nothing wrong with that if it works for you. If it doesn’t, then realize it’s in your best interest to put more thought into how you present yourself to others. If you’re entertaining, feel more comfortable in your own skin, maybe even work with a stylist to maximize your assets and minimize any flaws. Plus, every time I read about a woman who has had a nose job or plastic surgery, I think: Wow. Some women don’t like their shape. And I’m not going to judge, I’m just going to use a joke to illustrate this: A woman opts for a nose job so that she’ll be more likable.
I’m glad you are having such a great time at the party. Enjoy.
P.S. If a project comes up where you have to wear a revealing outfit, ask a friend to do the prep and style your outfit. This way you won’t be overdressed, but the to-do is kept to a minimum. Or, you can always swap dresses.
Thanks so much,